5 Ways to develop your "Why not me" muscle


By mid morning you have already said no to yourself dozens of time. No more sleep, no more snooze button, no more food, no more social media, no more time and the list goes on and on. You’re exhausting yourself and the sun has just peaked over the horizon.

As soon as you wake up you begin setting limits for yourself, so it’s no wonder when things don’t go right for you it’s not surprising you begin to develop a “why me” attitude; it’s almost like you expect to be be shut down, to come in second place and to not be successful at any goal you attempt to set. Your mental muscle memory says stop before you even get started sometimes.

It’s time to stop hating on your yourself and develop your - why not me - muscle. Want to know why? Because you deserve it, that’s why. Let the training begin; the trick is to be consistent with your actions. Olympic athletes don’t show up at the stadium on event day, tie up their laces and just get started. They took years to train, develop a program, build muscle, and prepare for their day of glory. Your day of glory can actually be a lifetime of happiness, prosperity and winning results if you just develop an attitude of - why not me. Here are 5 ways to develop your - why not me - muscle:


Your attitude determines your actions.

I recently interviewed Arianna Huffington for my podcast. Of course I could have said to myself, “Why in the heck would she ever want to come on my show? She was just on Dr. Oz, she’s friends with Oprah and her book is already a bestseller, why would she ever need me?” Instead, I said, “Why not me?” I have a growing community of leaders, entrepreneurs and Nice Guys who will spread her message just as well as anyone, why not send her an email and ask. You know what? She responded with a few questions (through her publicist) and after developing a rapport with her publicist, landed the interview. I had a positive attitude and so happy that I put it all together. Your attitude will affect your results.


Action will always keep you moving forward.

Want to develop an ironclad plan for failure? Don’t take action and let fear stand in your way, and failure is guaranteed. Nothing great was ever achieved from doing nothing great. Put yourself in motion. Jeffrey Hayzlett, an entrepreneur and 3-time judge on celebrity apprentice says, “It’s not the lucky who win, it’s the relentless.” Take action, don’t give up and stay on course. It will never be a straight line to success and that is ok. Stay in action, keep moving and never give up, you will get there.


Your words have power. That can be good or bad.

John Livesay is a pitch coach, teaching business owners, inventors and entrepreneurs how to get funding for their businesses. He says success in getting funded is only a small percentage about the idea (product or service), but rather much more about the story that is told. “If you are authentic and realize this is your moment, grab heart strings and pull hard.”  Be emotional about your business and understand that the words that leave your mouth have power; develop confidence and good storytelling techniques so that your ideas can come to life.


You are who you associate with.

Growing up, my mom would say, “Show me your friends and I will show you who you are.” It’s so very important to associate with others that make a positive, lasting impact on you. Create a mastermind group or have a brainstorming buddy that will help keep you on track, positive and focused. Several months ago I met Jenna Atkinson when I was speaking at a conference. Jenna is much more focused on goal setting and developing action steps on the path to success than I am. In talking to her, it was easy for me to see she would be a great person to connect with to help me start focusing on building action steps to helping me build my business. Since starting my brainstorming sessions, I have seen a marked improvement in business. Associate with a winning crowd and build your - why not me - muscle.


Reprogram the internal hater.

Stop hating on yourself. If you keep stepping on number two, you will have a bad effect on number 1 - YOU! The internal hater is always telling you that you can’t do it. Stop beating up on yourself. Expect positive results and good things will happen. That doesn’t mean to say that you will be successful at everything you attempt, but go easy on yourself when you don’t succeed. When you hate on yourself, you chip away positive energy until all you have left is negativity and an attitude of - why me? Develop your - why not me - muscle by loving up on yourself, provide a bit of internal empathy, get back in the saddle and move on. The difference between success and failure is sometimes just saddling up.


Wherever you go, there you are.
— Joh Kabat-Zinn

Wherever you go, there you are.

Jon Kabat-Zinn’s best seller (Wherever You Go, There You Are) discusses the importance of mindfulness as it pertains to reducing stress, making life a bit easier to understand & define and helping us focus our mental energy and to improve our life. Life is about showing up, working on making incremental improvements day to day. If you let life happen to you, it will, and if you make life happen, it will. Do not go through life being a victim of circumstances. Take control of your life and make your own path. Incorporate into your training, mindfulness or other stress reducing, attitude building techniques.

Reprogramming yourself is not an easy task, and you will be met with challenges and roadblocks along the way. In order to get to places you have never been before in business and in life, you will need to make some changes along the way. Find accountability partners in this new approach, eliminate the - why me - attitude and watch the positive results flood in. Get excited, because summer is coming, and we are all looking forward to seeing how all that new muscle fits into your new self.


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